The Adventures of the Hogwarts Staff
by RosetheFanlady
Summary: Just what happens when the students go home? With no kids to guard, the Hogwarts staff finally loosens up. Join them as the laugh, argue, cry, and love with each other, fellow wizards, and muggles! This is completely non-canon. All rights go to the wonderful J.K Rowling.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is my first story on this website and I would appreciate it if you left what you thought. Critism is welcome.**

It was the beginning of Christmas break and the halls were deserted except for two women.

"Pomona, please. I really just want to go to bed." Professor Minerva McGonagall had been dragged out of her rooms to make cookies with some of the staff. Cookies! For Merlin's sake could they have chosen something more professional?

"Nonsense! You need to get out more!" Professor Pomona Sprout was dragging her friend along, determined to get the Transfiguration mistress to loosen up a bit.

Minerva groaned, but said nothing. The pair reached the kitchen where Filius Flitwick, Rolanda Hooch, Poppy Pomfrey, Albus Dumbeldore, and Severus Snape were taking out things to make the dough. Severus didn't look happy.

"We're here!" Pomona announced, dragging Minerva into the group. "Hello," the taller witch said simply. Filius smiled. "Finally came out of your rooms?" He chuckled.

"I was forced out," she said darkly. Severus smirked at her. Albus smiled. "Yes, but it was for the best." the Headmaster said. "Yes, we are _so_ happy you're here," said the Potions Master sarcastically. Ignoring the comment, Minerva went over to help Poppy and Rolanda.

Severus continued with the snippy comments until Rolanda turnef on the mixer. "Hm, it's moving a bit slowly," stated the flying instructor. She took out her wand and cast a spell. The mixer moved faster. A bit too fast. Batter hit the walls and floor.

Poppy frantically turned it off. But she wasn't quick enough to stop the dough that hit Severus in the face. Everyone stopped and stared in silence. The quietness was cut off by laughter from the Head of Gryffindor. The greasy haired man smiled cruelly and wiped some batter out of his hair. He shoved it in Minerva's face.

She stood up and took some batter off the wall. She threw it, but the Head of Slytherin ducked. Pomona got hit and she threw some back, hitting Rolanda. Rolanda got Albus. Albus got Poppy. Poppy got Filius. Filius got Severus.

Soon it was an all out brawl. Everyone was laughing. Even Severus managed a chuckle.


	2. Chapter 2

Poppy Pomfrey, Pomona Sprout, Rolanda Hooch, Rebeus Hagrid, and Filius Flitwick were stumbling home from the Three Broomsticks. Filius, who was the closest to being sober, led the way, tripping over his own feet and laughing. Hagrid was getting emotional over the death of an animal, Rolanda patting his arm soothingly. Poppy and Pomona were giggling over the latest gossip.

They reached the castle to find a disproving Minerva McGonagall, a sneering Severus Snape, and a cheery Albus Dumbeldore. Shaking her head, Minerva led Pomona, Poppy, and Rolanda to their rooms.

Seveus took Filius to his and Albus took Hagrid to his hut. Hagrid sobs were less violent and more hiccupy with an occasional sniffle. Albus gently led the half-giant to the couch and sat him down. The headmaster being fixing tea and muttered wordsof comfort, though he was exasperated. _Note to self: never let those five out with each other._ , he thought.

Filius cracked jokes that made no sense. "Hey, Sevy!" Severus gritted his teeth and snapped, "What is it?" "Why did the Boggart cross the road?" "Why?" "To get a love potion!" The head of Ravenclaw laughed hysterically. Severus snarled and rubbed his temples. _Note to self: never let those five out with each other._

"So Minnie, is it true you like Albus?" Poppy said with a giggle. Minerva didn't respond and continued towards the ward to drop the nurse off. "Miiiiiiinnniiiieeeee!" Pomona shrieked. The Scottish woman just sighed. "Albus and Minnie sittin' in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!" Rolanda sang. Minerva rolled her eyes and tried to hide a blush. _Note to self: never let those five out with each other._


	3. Chapter 3

Albus Dumbledore groggily got out of bed. He had absolutely nothing to do today and it was boring. The headmaster glanced out the window and immediately perked up. It was snowing! He dressed quickly and ran to his deputy's chambers.

Godric Gryffindor slid into his portrait in Minerva's bedroom. "Madam? The headmaster wants to see you." Minerva groaned and sat up. "Let him in." She threw on a robe and some slippers. She shuffled into the sitting room, scowling.

"What exactly was so important you woke me at six in the morning during Christmas break?" The witch snapped. Albus merely smiled. "Why it's snowing, my dear!" he exclaimed.

Minerva was about to retaliate with her famous temper, when she saw the look of hopefulness in his eyes. She sighed, "Alright I'll out in a fee moments." The headmaster jumped up and grinned. "Wonderful! I'll be outside!" He dashed out.

Minerva shook her head and got dressed. She went outside and immediately shivered. "It mustbe colder than Antarctica here! Albus? Where are you?" She wandered around looking for her colleague.

Before long, Minerva felt a snowball hit the back of her head and she turned around. Rolanda Hooch was rocking back and forth on her feet, whistling innocently. "I know you did that, Ro," snarled the Transfiguration professor.

Rolanda put her hands up in submission. "Hey, I didn't do anything!" the flying instructor said defensively. "You're the only-" Another snowball hit the square of her back, sending shivers up her spine. Minerva turned to face Severus Snape.

"How dare-" Another shot fired by Pomona Sprout. Another by Septima Vector. Poppy Pomfrey. Aurora Sinistra. Filius Flitwick. Sybil Trelawney, who had surprisingly left her room. No Albus Dumbledore. Only when Aurora got hit did it dawn on Minerva.

"Take cover!" She yelled just as thousands of snowballs came raining down from the sky. Minerva could just see a figure up in the Astronomy Tower.

" _Accio_ brooms! Ro!" Minerva climbed on one broom and took off quickly followed by her friend. Minerva took out her wand and Petrified him. Albus froze and fell to the floor.

Rolanda grinned. _Ooooooooo he's in for it now..._ Minerva knelt next to her friend and smirked. "Oh Albus. There is so much we could do to you right now."They levitated him back to the ground and set him in the snow. The group huddled together discussing what to do. "Leave him..." "Shove snow down his trousers..." "I don't think anyone wants their hands in his trousers, except Min..." "Quiet, Pommy..." They broke up and smiled. Septima put several snowballs in his shirt. Minerva unPetrified him and put him in the leg-locking curse. Sybil took his wand. Then everyone went back in, leaving him to make his way inside.

After about an hour Albus made it to his chambers, where Minerva was waiting with his wand, a lemon drop, and some hot chocolate. He smiled. "You know I have to get you all back right?" He asked after he freed himself. "Yes, I do," she replied.

"And you do realize I remember how ticklish you are, correct?" Eyes wide, she sprinted towards the door, which was locked. "Don't you dare get any closer!"

Albus crept forward. "Is something wrong, my dear?"

"Don't you 'my dear' me. Where's my wand?"

He held it up with a smirk and pounced on her. She laughed and struggled as he tickled her. "Albus **giggle.** Stop it!" He slowed his attack and grinned. "What's the magic word?" He asked.

"Please! **Giggle."** He stopped, but didn't moved away. It wasn't until a knock came at the door, did they shift. Minerva stood and smiled. "It's been a pleasure," she said sarcastically and left.

Severus Snape was at the door. He walked in and stood in front of his boss. "Wad their something you needed, Severus?" "I have a plan," was the simple reply. But the mischievous smirk on the Potions Master's face indicated it wasn't nice.


	4. Chapter 4

Albus nodded a smile crossing his face as Severus explained the plan. "Oh, yes. This will do nicely," muttered the headmaster and Severus pulled back. "Goodbye, Albus." The potions master left the room and Albus began to write a letter.

Pomona waved goodbye to Rolanda and walked towards her rooms. As soon as she entered, an owl was tapping away at the window. She opened it and took the letter out of the bird's claw. After giving it a small treat, the witch opened the letter.

 _ **Dear Ms. Sprout,**_

 _ **A staff dinner is being held tomorrow at seven sharp. Attendance is necessary.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **Albus Dumbledore**_

She raised an eyebrow. _Well this is new._

In another part of the castle Filius received a smiliar letter. _Well this is new._

At seven o'clock Pomona and Filius were walking together towards the Great Hall. They entered and Pomona gasped. It was gorgeous! The lights were dimmed, the enchanted ceiling full of stars, and the walls and tablecloth were a velvety red.

Files smiled, but then asked, "Where is everyone?" Pomona shrugged and walked to the doors. She tried to pull them open, but they didn't even budge. After five minutes of tugging, unlocking spells, and charms the pair sat down in defeat.

"Oh well we might as well make the most of it," said the Hebology teacher. They sat down across from each other and ordered food, which magically appeared on the plates.

Hidden under an invisibility spell, Minerva, Severus, Poppy, Albus and Rolanda were watching closely. There was polite chit-chat between the two, until Pomona mentioned something that made the charms professor choke with laughter.

From then the two would laugh, joke, and flirt regularly. It didn't get much further. Dessert was served and not much was going on. Mimerva pulled out her wand and flicked it gently.

Pomona's head lurched forward and her lips landed on Filius'. Pomona jerked back and was about to apologize when Filius kissed her. Smirking, the group of troublemakers snuck out, unlocking the door as they went.


End file.
